If you’re a Gen Xer, chances are you’re beginning to face the challenge of helping your parents downsize or manage their belongings after they’ve passed. It’s an overwhelming process that mixes practical decisions with heavy emotions. Many of us don’t know where to start, and it helps to hear from someone who has been through it before.
Recently, a Gen X community member on Reddit shared valuable advice drawn from their own experience. Their story struck a chord because it blends hindsight with practical, modern tools that didn’t exist when they went through this themselves.
Here’s the original post, quoted in full:
From Reddit user Oxjrnine:
*”To all my Gen X friends who are downsizing for their parents, or whose parents have passed away, here is some advice from my own experience combined with tools that are available today but were not back then.
Back in 2000 and 2004 when my parents passed away, we did not have the technology that exists today to help with distributing and getting rid of their possessions. Because I had an interest in these things, I managed to salvage some high value items that the rest of my family thought were garbage. Most of my fellow Gen Xers are only now facing what I went through 25 years ago with aging parents downsizing or passing away. What I learned then is that I wish I had the tools and technology that you have at your fingertips now. Here is what I would do today if my parents were downsizing instead of back then:
- Do not trust your gut instinct. It is often wrong. That grand piano from 1885 is something almost nobody wants. That yellowed orange Panasonic black and white TV that you are about to dump might be something plenty of people want.
- If you have the budget, hire an expert appraiser to assess your parents’ belongings. Choose the appraiser based on what they mostly own. If it is mostly newer items that just need to be resold, find someone who handles modern household goods. If it is a true antiques collection, hire a traditional antiques specialist. If it is a large mix of everyday mid-century pieces, use an appraiser who knows that market cold. The right specialist for the bulk of the items saves you time and gets you better prices.
- Use reverse image technology. It only takes a couple of days to scan a large number of items, and you will be surprised by what you thought was worthless that is not, and what you assumed had value that does not. When you use reverse imaging, do not look at the selling price. Look at the sold price. The sold value tells you how much someone has actually paid for a similar item, while the selling price is often just wishful thinking.
- Decide in advance how much time, energy, and effort you are willing to invest in this project. You do not want it to turn into a second job. Let a few valuable items slip through the cracks for the sake of your sanity and finances.
- Create categories early for what you will sell, what you will donate, what you will trash, and what you will keep. Use your tools and appraisals to guide you rather than nostalgia. Your mom’s cabinet of 1950s Pyrex might be valuable enough to cover your child’s tuition, and you may have been ready to drop it at Goodwill. A matchbook or collectible that you ignore could also have value. At the same time, you need to recognize a stopping point for your own peace of mind and financial situation.”*
Resources shared:
- Peter Walsh, Let It Go: Downsizing Your Way to a Richer, Happier Life
- Marni Jameson, Downsizing the Family Home: What to Save, What to Let Go
- David J. Ekerdt, Downsizing: Confronting Our Possessions Later in Life
- Blog: Expert Tips: Downsizing Parents Guide by William Chuff
This is practical, heartfelt advice from someone who has been there. Downsizing isn’t just about sorting through possessions—it’s about managing memories, emotions, and sometimes family disagreements. The big takeaway is to use the tools available today to make the process easier and less overwhelming.
If you’re starting this journey with your own parents, remember that you don’t have to do it all at once. Break the work into manageable steps, seek expert help when it makes sense, and give yourself permission to let a few things go. Downsizing can be stressful, but with the right approach, it can also bring peace of mind for your parents and for you.